We feel this huge reasonability for our children for them to do well in this world and we care so much that we take on their emotions. I am yet to find a mum who hasn’t felt the pain of their child suffering from mental and emotional stress whether it be just school exams, friendship issues or something serious like bullying.

We feel helpless and unable to stop the hurt from them and somehow, we attach our self-worth as a mother to what our child is experiencing.

There behaviour hurts us when they reject us, it confuses us when they behave in a way we haven’t bought them up and them wanting freedom and independence leaves us in worry as we let go and allow them to explore this world. Hoping that they won’t make too many mistakes like we did and trying to give them our wisdom, but we know they don ‘t value what we are saying at this stage of their life after all most of us didn’t listen to our parents or carers!

As a mother we have this sense of wanting to keep our child safe and secure and letting them out into the world can be scary.  We put all our energy into making sure our children have what they need to prepare them for the outside world but the world we live in today is nothing like what we lived through as children.

We seem to be running around doing school runs, cooking, cleaning, answering school emails and being taxi for our children around all our other commitments and by the time it comes to fill our cup and recharge we simply have no energy left. We somehow feel being a good mum equals us exhausting ourselves trying to prove we are.  The irony is that in order to be the best version for our children we need to make time for us and I know how challenging this can be but what if I told you that our children learn by what they see, and their environment rather than what they are told.

So simply saying to our children you must look after yourself, give yourself self-love, recharge your batteries, make time for you is not enough they need to see us. They need to see that we respect ourselves enough to value our mental and emotional state so that we can have calm and clarity in our minds and not chaos and confusion.

By communicating to your children that we need to make time for us each day to recharge sets the expectation. When my children were little we called it quiet time. Everyone did something for themselves. Sometimes we were in the same space and others in our own.

Having a time makes it simple.  30mins everyday even 15Minutes.  Small amounts of consistent time will make the difference.

Here are some ideas

  • Journaling
  • Meditation
  • Reading a Book with a nice herbal
  • Have a nice bath or shower uninterrupted.
  • Mindful Colouring
  • Yoga
  • Breathing
  • Walk
  • Listen to some music.

Do something that you love that makes you feel like you are looking after you. You will be able to turn up for your children in a better space and support them while making sure you look after you too. Enjoy!